WHY WASTE MUCH TIME WORRYING AND POSTPONING MAKING THE DIFFICULT DECISIONS?
I heard this adage somewhere it says, “If you have to swallow a frog, don’t look at it too long.” To that I replied Ummm, to swallow frog? Who does that? But now I see the sense in that adage.
One of the excuses, and habits I have noticed from some people, including my family members, mostly my daughter, is the excuse of decision making. I can’t make up my mind. Or sometimes, when I try to draw her attention to a lingering issue which she supposes to work on she will say, “mummy, I haven’t made up my mind yet.” Humm, I can’t tell you how frustrating I found such a response.
Likewise, so many people. So many opportunities have been wasted, many events averted, or canceled, careers and jobs that supposed to have been started have gone down the tubes of indecisions. Why because many of us are not ready to make hard decisions concerning our future. What happens with so many people; is that either they are making some wrong decisions or they are not making any decisions at all concerning their future.
What Are the Difficult Decisions We Make?
Some of the hard decisions we make, or fear to make include:
The decisions concerning who to spend the rest of our life with, in terms of a life partner – marriage. To some of us, this is a difficult decision to make. And so many youths fear making a decision about it, because of fear of making a mistake. Choosing a life partner is not an easy decision, because of the consequences of marrying the wrong person, who may end up not being a help meet for you.
Another difficult decision is deciding where to live, the part of the city to live, where to raise one’s children. I could remember when my husband and I made such decisions some years back, because of our last two children who were in grade school at the time. We put so much thought into it and sought for information, investigated, different communities, as we had a list of the things we were considering.
For instance, we considered the school system, the crime rate, Property Tax, recreational facilities, faith community, park, library, retail shops, and more. We took the time to investigate, researched, asked questions, and visited some of the places before we finally decide based on a lot of options, and information we have collected to examine what suits our needs better. We didn’t just wake up on a weekend and decide to relocate No. You have to make a hard decision based on needs, facts, and knowledge.
Likewise, for other areas, be the decision of where to worship, school to go, town to live, retirement decision, whom to marry, when to marry and where to marry from, all these are serious decisions that require, collecting information, investigation, questioning, research, and planning before making such difficult decisions.
We make decision on what kind of career to pursue.
Let me add that making the right deciosns on time can lead to a good night sleep, and peace of mind.
To make a good decision, you have to get some knowledge about what you want to decide on. Because knowledge is power. One of the lessons I’m learning or have learned during this Covid-19 Pandemic is that there is a lesson to learn for every circumstance we face in life. It doesn’t matter if it is negative or positive circumstances. There is always some lessons to be learned and knowledge to gain. Therefore, it will be a smart idea not to look at any negative circumstances or difficult times, as wasted time. And it is by learning such lessons that we can plan for change for anything and at any time.
Decision To Uphold Your Values
Another difficult decision that some people find difficult to make, which my self I have made in few occasions is to choose between one’s values, stick to the ethical standards, or ignore your values and follow the money/profit that is involved. Mostly as businessmen and women, the goal of business is to make a profit; right? But often time, some hard decisions has to be made on how to make the money or profit.
Assuming you’re a person of faith, and you have a business transaction that involves a huge amount of money, say some hundreds of thousands of dollars, and you know that based on the facts, that sponsoring or negotiating such a business will make you compromise your honesty, integrity. What will you do when you see that there is much money involve? It is a difficult decision for any business person, but with being a person of integrity, you can decide wisely based on what you believe. But for some, it doesn’t matter, even when they exchange or keep their values at the back burners all they want is the money, let the end justify the means the person will say.
Be Courageous While Making Tough Decisons
When making some difficult decisions, you need courage. You need to be decisive once you have thought things through, go ahead and decide. First of all look into the pros and cons. Then you need to act. Act decisively, so that if anyone asks what is your decision on the issue, you can confidently reply to what it is. In making the difficult decisions, try not to allow fears to silence or demobilize you. Don’t allow fear to make you put off things till next week, next month, or even next year. That is called procrastination, and it has some negative results. Remember, you have to know what you want, by knowing yourself. You have to consult, research, ask questions, be well informed of what is at stake. Mostly for some decisions that are irrevocable in nature. You need to be thorough, and take the time to come to your convictions before you commit.
Begin With The End In Mind – Stephen R.Covey
Have a picture of what your decision will accomplish once taken and acted upon. Many of us are feeling trapped in the circumstances we are in at the moment. It could be relationships, business, school, parenting. It’s like there is no way out of it. Well, that’s what making decisions leads to and why we should be careful making difficult decisions. Some times, when got stuck, out of our ego or pride, we don’t even want to reach out and ask for help and ask, what can I do to change course? By accepting that you screwed up in the first place. Instead, we dig ourselves deeper into whatever hole. This happens mostly in making financial decisions.
Deciding To decide
Making a decision for a difficult task, project, trip, relationship, starting a business, quitting an emotionally draining job don’t have to take forever. You got to decide to act, by taking the necessary steps to get all the tools you need to make the decision. If you want to be the kind of a person that wants to get things done. Then act with determination, courage, and decide, by knowing that there is not going to be a 100% perfect time and conditions to make a decision that will guarantee its success or failure. Someone said that if you have a decision to make and you decide not to, that you have decided not to decide. And unfortunately, that’s not a good place to be in. Because it will lead to loss of time, opportunities, and regrets later.
Challenges For Making Decisions
One of the problems I noticed that makes some folks not make decisions of any kind is overthinking the decision. And that eventually leads to procrastination. Putting things off with the thinking that there is still much time to think about it. Some will say, we still have enough time to decide, I’m still young, I still have a job, I’m not prepared to be in love or date anyone yet, even when the person is over 30 years of age. Or I can’t start any business now until the economy Improves.
This week on Facebook, I had a guy sending me a PM, and asking me a series of questions. One of his questions was if am married? I said yes, that I’m married with 4 children and 3 grandkids. Then he asked me are you with your husband? I replied yes, and asked him back why do you want to know, are you looking for a wife? I was very blunt with my question for him. He then introduced himself as Dr. so and so, and that he served in the military, that he is 57 years old, and told me that he is a widower. I offered him my condolences, and gave some words of encouragement to him and then turn off the chat. The point I want to make there is that, some people don’t know how to make decisions, and when to make decisions about their lives. So unfortunate!
Another factor, that makes it hard for some people to make decisions, is when they are presented with so many options to chose from. It’s hard to choose when everything looks or feels the same. I think the best illustration here is when a hiring manager, for instance, has 3 best-qualified candidates for a job offer. How do you decide who is the best fit, when all have the exact qualities you are looking for?
The fact we have to bear in mind is that in making decisions for anything, we may not be certain to make the best decision, even when we might think so or others think so. Because there is no magic wand to know if what we decided on will produce the best result or not. So when we are faced with options to chose from, we can be assured that any of them or a number of them can be good probably. All we can do is to follow our gut after considering all the necessary information, and what we really want. Another thing you can do in the above example of deciding among best-qualified candidates to hire for a position is through the process of elimination. And that’s the decision-making tool also.
This is another serious reason, making some difficult decisions are hard for some people.
I know of some people with the wishful -thinking mindsets around me. When there is serious trouble, they will hide, instead of taking decisive action, the person will be complacent, and say, I hope things will work out. For such people, all they want is to leave every problem to solve itself. And some are wishing to be a success, without any plan to follow up with their wishes.
Making some difficult decisions requires knowledge, courage, investigation, planning, sound judgment, and one following his or her gut. Listening to your inner convictions. It is not for feeble and waving minds. Decision making requires boldness and determination, and above all being self-aware of who you are, what you want and why you want it, and making the decision based on your values.