We all need success in every area of life; whether as a parent, teacher, leader, businessman or woman, politician, church leader, no matter your profession, we all long for success. And let say you feel that you have already succeeded, you can still remember how it happened, that you did not have a solo success, instead, there were people who helped you on your success journey, it could be parents, teachers, boss, coach, mentor, and friends, any of these people must have played some significant role in your life before you reached your success destination. Therefore, it is imperative that you pay back by helping others to succeed too.
Today, let us examine how helping other people will help us to succeed in the pursuit of our dreams even faster. One good turn deserves another was one of my favorite quotes growing up. I have always liked to help people, to share what I have with people, to encourage, and empathize with others. According to my spouse, he accuses of caring to a fault. For me, it is better that I care in any way I can than to neglect caring. That’s why I named my first website the caring hearts guide before I changed it. Have you ever considered it as a leader, a parent, a business partner, co-workers, the kind of influence you have on others, or others have on you at any level of your life How do you think that people see or feel about you as a person? I somebody will say who cares. For some people, they can be remembered easily by their careless words or acts. People remember their selfish attitudes, their arrogance, or their disrespectful attitudes towards others, both old and young, and you too can remember such people that you have come across.
Unfortunately, what many people don’t realize is that some actions or words wound some people’s minds. And it is these wounded people that plot or conspire against those who hurt them or neglect them. Such wounded individuals will contribute nothing but obstacles or bad faith, why because the person is of no use to their need. These happened in families, business, work, politics, and you name it. Ask politicians they will tell you better. But reverse this example, and you get the reverse positive feelings with positive reactions and results that lead to success when people admire us based on our good deeds and help to them. Why? Because people express their goodwill to those who help them and are willing to go the extra mile to return the same gestures in different ways and times.
Help People To Help You Succeed
I believe some of us will be asking how do I help people to help me succeed? In What way? What will anyone do for me to help me succeed? Good questions to ask or ponder about. Well, let us find out the ways. We might be surprised how simple things make a huge impact on some people’s minds, in a normal world. But today, the world is evolving so strangely before our eyes that nothing seems to have value anymore. I heard this preached by a prominent preacher at a marriage seminar a long time ago. He stated it so emphatically, by saying “Give him what he wants and he will give you what you need.” And the crowd laughed. Husbands and wives started eyeing each other, each saying his or her partner “did you hear it?” It was just a hilarious moment. Because everyone got the message at least for that moment, what they will do with it when they got home is another case. https://www.becomingminimalist.com/helping-others-succeed/
Give others what they want so that they will give you what you want.
So I want to say that to the degree we give others what they expect from us the better we will receive or get what we expect from them when we need their help. Here are few examples of this rule: Let us take the example of a director who gives his or her employee praise, and recognition first in order to motivate the worker to put in an extra effort, maybe during their Peak Season. Or what if a parent decides to express intentional confidence in his or her children first to motivate the child to start studying hard to make a better grade? But what we do is that we expect to have it first before we give, before we motivate or inspire people for good actions.
And I also believe that’s why motivation is very important. And it is more effective when we know what people need first and helps them to meet their needs that we are well-positioned and blessed to see people do the same for us. So please understand that the idea of this tip is not about you getting what you need from people rather it is about you giving others what they need from you first. Please, get this right! I think this works well with politicians and during campaigns. and also very effective with couples. Every one of us wants something from someone else, whatever that is, but we get frustrated when it is not forthcoming just as in marriage relationship, I know this quite well because I have been married for about 40 years plus.
Ask For Needs Not Wants
Let us look at this further with the following illustrations: Some people mostly young teenage girls, many of them want sympathy from their friends, and families; they just want a shoulder to lean on, right? In the actual sense, what they need, what their heart is longing for is empathy. Take for instance how we provide our wants and not the needs, People want big cars, big mansions, but whereas what they need are transportation and shelter. People want power, instead of support and cooperation, our children want freedom and permissiveness; whereas what they need is discipline. I wish I’m making sense. The point is that when we understand our needs and the needs of others as against wants, we find it easy provide or help.
The problem today between our needs and the wants is that everything is reversed, and human beings have become confused about what they really need from what they want. And it is as a result of this disorientation that has put our lives under unnecessary pressure. Because we are pursuing wants and not our needs, that’s why nobody seems satisfied, no matter what we have achieved, because according to economics, human wants are insatiable.
You can now see, the contrast between what we want and what we actually need. I want to add here that what fulfills our longings in life is the satisfaction of our needs and not our wants. Because we are not meeting our needs, that’s why we hear the saying,‘the Rich, also cry.” Some people live in their mansion still lack the emotional connection, because there is no love sharing. At that point, what the heart is searching for is an authentic heart to heart connection, authentic relationship and communication and not material stuff, a loving relationship which is a need to the soul of every human, and not the furnished big house with no emotional connection.
As human beings, we want to communicate emotionally and relate deeply, mostly with our spouse. we need it. We want to have friends in our life with whom we can feel so safe to share our hurts, weaknesses, fears, and dreams. we need friends, relations who value us as we are. Friends or relationships where real love can be shown and experienced. We need people who care about us and we care about them too. We need people who will motivate us, when we are feeling down, who will lift us up with their words and deeds, and who will cheer us up when we are succeeding. Those are some of the ways people can help us to succeed because we have won their love.
Give Before Expecting
We need people who will inspire us to archive, grow, work better, progress faster, and become better than we were last year or before we met them, and not people who will drain our energy and become a cog in the wheel of progress. We believe that any emotionally healthy person will need the same. So you see why it is important that we give to others what we expect to get from them. I believe that we are similar in these areas of human need. But the problem is that we hide it from each other because we lack the trust, we fear being unmasked, being manipulated, or taken advantage of as a result, we keep it simple on the surface, while the inside is unsettled.
We All Have The Same Need
The needs constitute our deepest longings, and we are trying our best to mask them off from each other. We do so with friends, leaders, family members, spouses, parents, children. Everybody is hiding something and hiding from each other the real soul need. Why? Because we are not giving each other what they need in other for us to get what we need. I hope I have tried to explain this in a way that you can understand where I’m coming from. Simply put in another way, we withdraw what we deposit. If you consider it, you will find out that most of the things we are looking for are the things we get from one another, from people, not from material things as important as they materials things are. It is my desire that we share our dreams with trusted friends, spouses, families, and to receive upliftment from them instead of discouragement.
I know that I have to motivate myself and be strong in my inner mind. But where that help is more useful to me is my emotional energy, because when I’m happy and feel secure, I feel strong, and energized. That makes it possible for me to feel focused to pursue my dreams without being distracted or cast down due to emotional pains, By helping one another, by helping you and you helping me we are succeeding together. We need each other in this journey of life. We can do better!