Dealing with our past is not something to trivialize. It was James Baldwin, who realized this perhaps, by stating that “Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced.” No matter how unreliable our memories may seem oftentimes, we can all agree that not many people had a perfect past. How I wish I had! But in this article, we are going to be learning how to deal with the past, which brings freedom. Whatever that past represents in our lives; we have to believe that change is inevitable that situations and circumstances both negative and positive can change
Remembering the Past.
In psychology, studies have shown a correlation between a person’s past experience with the person’s current behaviors. It is not surprising that many of us can remember vividly some of the painful experiences of the past events during our young age or at our adult age. These events could be self-inflicted or caused by loved ones, a job, a group, or the wickedness of the people. An example of such negativity, and traumatic experiences may include abuse of all kinds. Betrayals, losses, illness, failures, rejections, and hardships. Imagine how difficult it was to grow up without having the basic essentials of life because your parents were unable to afford them.
For some, the experience of poverty in the past has made them appreciate their present success either in business, academics, ministry, family, or politics. Most of the people, whose past status has been transformed, live a life of gratitude and humility. Whereas there are some who received such breakthroughs from their past, but they allow their success to make them become arrogant and greedy. Because of their past experience with poverty, they become selfish and addicted to the pursuit of wealth at the detriment of anything else, and with no compassion for others. Because they are insecure, fearing that they can lose what they have already got. So they feel guarded, walled in, and living a revengeful life based on their past.
It could be that why the past is so heavily tangled with us is because of the combination of the negative events we went through. Such as the decisions and actions of some influential people in our lives who betrayed the trust. No wonder, some people, find it difficult to leave their past behind. As a result, they still find it hard to forgive their family members who wronged them. For these people, their bowel of kindness, and love seemed closed against others.
And it is some of these bad experiences both the good and bad, that have all led us to where we are today in our life’s journey. The point here is that we have to learn not to allow our past experiences to define our present or future value. Whatever things in our past that are not of good report, we have to drop them behind us. https://thetituswoman.com/facing-a-new-year-without-fear/
You Can Redefine Your Past
One of the best lessons to learn is that we can redefine our past. We can decide no matter how shameful, regretful, disappointing, and traumatized the past experience, we can consciously leave it behind, and only remember it as history. We should not allow our past to determine our future in a negative connotation. Yesterday is gone. You only have now the present as the only valid currency to transact with.
As we have gained some experiences, whether they are good or bad, we can examine, reflect, and see if the past is diluting, draining the joy, and energy for today. How about your decision-making? Is it influenced by your past experiences? Be careful that can be very possible. For instance, you know the emotional reactions you always have when you see the person that hurt you. Assuming you are in a position of power to help that person, will you allow your past to influence your decision to help or not to?
Don’t feel beaten up, by our painful past experiences. Of course, many of us did not have the best past growing up, as I stated earlier. We may not have had certain advantages, compared to some of our peers. For some of us, the dysfunctional homes we grew up in still left emotional scars on us. Some had stable families, with two loving parents, who pray for them, loved them, and cared about their future. While some can only dream of such because their parents were emotionally absent. Either they were serving a jail term, or drug addicts, alcoholics, or they were divorced early.
These are bitter, and negative memories to carry about. If you feel find the past to be too bitter, try all you can to muscle up the courage; free yourself from the bondage of the past. This is important in order not to allow the past to rob you of the good memories of the present and of what your future holds. Just believe that you can develop yourself to make something beautiful out of your ugly past. And this is the story of many people.
As I type this, I remember the story of Joseph in the Bible, a young man with a dream, but out of jealousy and wickedness, his brothers tried to prevent him from having a future. Nevertheless, the purpose of God for him prevailed! Living Your Values
Offload Every Past Emotional Baggage
I know, it is easy to say. That’s true because in some cases talk is cheap. But as far as our negative pasts are concerned, we just have to do everything within our power to let go. Having a heavy carry- on, going into our future, will affect our speed for growth and progress. Sure, it is not easy. However, there is no other way to detangle your mind than to offload the luggage of bitterness, regret, unforgiveness, revenge, fear, doubt, and so forth. Instead, get help if you can. Because learning how to deal with the past brings freedom.
The change will always happen. Speak to your circumstances, both past, and present, and say that provided there is life, there is hope for change for the better. Don’t buy the negative thought of getting out of the frying pan to the middle of the fire. Reject it. See beyond the ugly and painful past into your future. Learning how to deal with our past is a very important skill to get.
Focus on the Big Picture
Set your mind on the positives, and by faith embrace a great future. Clearly, see your 2023, and beyond as richer, and more rewarding than 2021. Why? Because you’re leaving behind all the heavy loads that have been draining your energy and crippling your social connections, even your spiritual life. Certainly, that means that you will experience accelerated progress going forward. You will be refocused, determined, and free to make use of your positive attributes for the success and service of others as well.
Without a doubt, every load does not bear the same weight. And not every one of us had the same experience. Therefore, the luggage content may differ. Be the load past load an emotional load of guilt, anger, deep hurt, broken heart, and so forth from our past, we can trade them off intentionally.
Another interesting point, I want to make as far as our past is concerned and the lessons we ought to learn is that; our past experiences, be they good or bad have shaped or influenced who we are today. And this is a very important point to understand. Because our past gives us our motivation or lack of it. To some, our past has pushed us, propelled us to do better, to some it has compelled them to bury their potentials, or even turn towards negative lifestyles.
By dealing with the past, you can decide today to start rebuilding your life from the inside out. This will take place as you begin to offload the heavy load of the past. Confront the past with courage, and determination. Ask yourself, what are the pros and cons of leaving my past behind? You can rewrite your history. Believe that you have the potentials to face the challenges. Offload the past heavyweights. And walk in freedom!