As you may have known, I blog majorly about relationships, businesses, and self-improvement. That means that I will be alternating my content from time to time, while trying to write to the general audience, comprising people who are struggling in areas of relationships, business challenges, self-improvements, beliefs, and faith- walk.
In one of my previous articles, I wrote about nurturing your relationships, this will be a continuation of the same topic. I titled this Unavoidable. What is unavoidable? Relationships are unavoidable. As humans we are wired to relate, to provide emotional needs to one another in different ways. Any effort by any means to sabotage that will affect our social and psychological health. Well, in straight talk, that means that relationships are unavoidable! I liked how one author puts it; “If much of our life is still potentially before us, it’s tempting to take the people in our lives for granted.” Unfortunately, that’s what so many couples are doing starving each other emotionally, financially, and otherwise. Where has the first love you had for each other before? I believe that it can be restored. No situation can be hopeless until it is believed so.
Invest Time for your Relationships.
Some relationships have already started practicing social distancing from their family members, friends, faith community, job before the mandatory social distancing due to the COVID-19 Pandemic began. Why so? Maybe the relationships are no longer tasteful. But can I encourage you to find a way to spice it up once again, by forgiveness, by listening, by caring, sharing information, communication, and validating each other’s feelings and concerns?
I agree with you, that relationships are very hard to maintain because some people are naturally hard to live with or associate with. But I can equally tell you that losing vital relationships can be costly too.
We can even put on our masks, to appear strong, independent. Unfortunately, this strategy works against our real nature. Why? Because God made us relate, to share to be authentic. Sociology calls us social animals. When we try to isolate ourselves from people, for whatever reason, it works against our social instincts because we are created as relational beings. That’s why we yawn to belong, to be loved, to be accepted, understood, to be recognized, and to be cared for. We are designed as humans for social, emotional, physical, and spiritual intimacy and if any part of these facets is in disarray, we can’t have a fulfilled life.
Lack Of Commitment
Engaging in our business and devices more than the actual connections with our loved ones, missing out on the delight of understanding, and sharing intimate talks, does damage to our emotional well-being. Many people are hurting, and internalizing their pains because they have no shoulder to lean on. Nobody cares any longer. What matters most is how to succeed in business more than in life. what is the benefit of success if it is not going to be enjoyed? What are striving for, leaving our lives, and relationships to be starved of love and protection?
Our attitudes towards each other as friends, associates, partners, family members, is what is causing the trouble we see today in society. The inhuman treatment of lives as a piece of property we can dispose of at will. Our world today is searching for men and women young and old, who will reach other to them, with a listening ear, a caring heart, and agape love! Can you decide today to be part of the solution, starting with your immediate family? I believe you can.
Of course, all of us crave for love consciously and unconsciously, it doesn’t matter your position in life. If you doubt me on this, ask President Trump. He will tell you, how much neglected or needy he feels when he doesn’t feel admired, loved, praised, or adored by people. Having an adoring crowd feeds his ego more than anything because he feels the need of being listened to and valued in a special way by the reason of his position.
Failing to give him a public thank you for any achievement or gestures, triggers a negative emotion. If you doubt me on this ask him how he felt when the father of one of the players he rescued from China’s prison refused to thank him. That was my observation of him, correct me if I am wrong. that’s, by the way, a high-class example lol.
What I have also noticed is that often those who crave for love and appreciation are not good lovers or appreciative themselves. Yes, relationships are quite a complex issue at any level of it. Be it among countries, states, local, family, personal. All got some thorns. It requires learning and skills.
No Reason Is Good Enough If You Can Fix It
People avoid relationships because they have been disappointed, hurt, misunderstood, betrayed, and lied against. Others refuse or don’t know how to return our love and kindness to them. For them, it is all about them. It’s as if you were given the assignment to care for them, while your own needs are being neglected. The truth is man is selfish by default. But on the other hand love is a sacrifice, it is about risking pains. To love the unlovable in some instances. Remember that is what the love of God is about.
Pain no doubt is part of the frame of relationships. Consider the pain of losing people we love, it could be death, or by relocation, or by abandonment. Many of us have suffered such losses. I have suffered three types of loss. Last year was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life, the loss of two beloved members of my family, young and dare to my heart, and the relocation of my only daughter to Texas. I know how hard it was for me.
Life has surprises! Relationships can hurt or heal. I am giving this disclosure to show you that when I speak about relationships, I’m speaking from a position of experience and authority. Let me shock you with this, do you know that even God was disappointed in his relationship with a man. God lamented that He created man. Think about that for a moment. But still, His love for humans still endure.
My advice to everyone including me is to approach every relationship with an open mind. without conditions attached and high expectations attached. The more conditions and expectations, the more disappointing. No matter what don’t stop loving, caring, and praying and wishing well for those who have hurt you in your relationships with them.
We must have an open mind in our relationships to endure the heartaches as well as celebrate successes together. Make the love of God your foundation for any relationship. Remember, our values are the determinant factors for the structures and boundaries we put up. Cheer up there is going to be a bright light at the end of the tunnel!